#perspective and hands got me on a chokehold

[gotchaocha]

Guess who has perfectionism issues and no technical knowledge on drawing but now has to deliver three drawings next week

[itsrlymine]

Manifesting and Why Feelings Don’t Matter. They Never Did.

Some of you care way too much about your feelings for me and honestly…. It’s annoying. Feelings got y’all in a chokehold yet they have nothing to do with you getting your desires. Your feelings didn’t stop your sp from coming back and treating how you wanted them to. Your feelings didn’t change the fact that you got the house/apartment you have always wanted. Your feelings didn’t change the fact that you still reconciled with an old friend from years ago who barely even remembers the disagreement. Whether positive or not, it’s all about the meaning you give them. 

“I want to manifest sp back but I don’t feel like—.“

“I want to make money without working but I feel guilty and—.“

“I know I can manifest whatever I want but what if I feel uncomfort—.“

SHUT UP AND JUST KNOW YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT. KNOW IT NOW

No matter how you "feel", you are still the creator of your experience. 

If you are feeling nervous about getting a certain desire, who cares? It’s yours anyways.

If you are feeling scared about something not happening, who cares? You got it and it happened anyways.

If you are feeling like you don’t know how to manifest and create your reality, who cares? You are still creating even if it’s something you don’t want. Just change your perspective. 

Your feelings aren’t your enemies but they are also not your God. At all. You are and you can dictate whether or not the “feelings” you have matter. They don’t but you can also use them to your advantage. I’ve been angry about tons of things before and instead of focusing that anger on the situation at hand, I focused it towards what I wanted to happen instead. 

“F*ck this! I’m literally getting what I want. I have that sh*it right now what am I even talking about “getting” for???? That sh*t is in my freakin face!!” 

If you want to feel anything, feel peace. When I say feel, I don’t mean create or conjure up an emotion within yourself. By feeling, just still your thoughts and mind. There you will find peace— your true essence. Be comfortable there whether it’s for two seconds or two hours. From that peace is where all creation springs. Remind yourself of who you are and know it will never change. You are still in control. 

What you say goes, not what you feel. You can experience all the human emotions —energies in motion— you want or don’t want but at the end of the day none of that matters. Why? Because you create. You choose. Not your feelings. Not your emotions. Even physical sensations don’t hold any power until you give them power. I’ve healed myself a number of times from different pains whether it was cramps, headaches, stomachaches or toothaches and even healing my second ACL faster than the first by thinking as the person who doesn’t feel pain anymore/is healed. It is truly easier said than done because it’s done and easy asf to say. Be so serious. Divorce your feelings, take your ring back and decide who you are in spite of them! 

And don’t let me get started on y’all that let the 3d make you feel a certain way. You are allowing that the 3d to dictate how you feel and keeping yourself in a perpetual cycle you don’t want to be in. Stop it. Get help. Help yourself. 

[amelee23]

Natural | Lee Minho

Genre: FLUFFFFFF fluff fluff, romance

Pairing: Lee know x gender neutral reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: going on a forest vacay to escape society, SUPER sappy cheesy stuff, SOFT, walks at 6 am, kisses and hugs and everything nice, a chokehold as a joke, humour, metaphors galore, he's cat dad, reader gets called kitten once, I love lino very much, promises for the future 🤭

Summary: You and Minho go on a vacation to a forest cabin. As he wakes you up at 6 am for a walk, you can't help but get sappy and admire him alongside the landscape. Your love for him makes Minho say something that might change your perspective of the future.

You were gently shaken awake a little too early for comfort. First thing you felt was the heft of your eyelids and a subtle throbbing in your forehead; but the first thing you remembered, though, was the way you have probably fallen asleep having extremely soft conversations with your lover, about how far the both of you have come, the things you've accomplished, how proud you feel of each other and also of your friends who you grew up with.

"The sun's not even awake yet." You grumble to him, and he gives you a silly smile.

"But I am!" You can't help but snort, still pushing your nose further into the pillows. You didn't want to get out of bed, really. "C'mon, get up. Go on a walk with me."

"At this hour? Ugh, you're so random sometimes." You say, grumbling, but you start moving out of the bed.

It probably wasn't random at all. If you were to make a guess, it was probably premeditated and he had some sort of intention for taking a walk in the woods at 6 in the morning.

Well, he hoped it would be 6 in the morning but your drowsiness didn't allow for it. He had to be patient, make you coffee and a light breakfast, or else you'd turn blue like the cookie monster and eat him alive without food and caffeine in your system.

You looked out the window as the two of you were silently enjoying breakfast. It was such a beautiful sight, and if you just allowed it, the cherry chirp of the birds in the morning was enough to block the demons inside your head.

Although he had woken you up at ungodly hours, this was the vacation you both dreamt of. You rented out a cabin in the forest, and it was, for once, just you and him. The last people you've seen were in a different cabin 10 minutes down the road, and the center rental establishment that had groceries and necessities was 20 minutes away. Of course, it could prove to be a pain in the ass if you didn't prepare well, but you made sure you had everything you needed - so that you could truly disconnect from the world and let yourselves be swallowed up by nature.

You should have guessed Minho was always planning to go on this walk, considering how serious he seemed about it. While you were eating and trying to awaken your brain cells, he got dressed in a cozy shirt, loose pants and a backwards cap and he was already arranging a small backpack with water bottles and his Polaroid camera. He went as far as packing an external phone battery, too. Then he sat down next to you and waited.

You've gotten to know his array of expressions so well, you thought. He was looking at you, and to an outsider his expression would tell them close to nothing. But no, his expression looked gentle, kind, patient, impatient, exasperated and excited all at once. You could see how eager he was to move, almost as if his body was half-way already bolting out the door. Still, he was trying to maintain his calm, since there was no point to the outside views that awaited him if you weren't seeing them with him.

Your eyes met as you were admiring him, and almost like a kitten pawing for attention, he gently pulled at the sleeve of your pyjama shirt.

You were so in love with him, it wasn't even funny.

He began your little nature adventure by holding your hand and guiding you to the forest path, but as soon as you could hear the crunch of pebbles and branches under your feet, Minho was gone. He walked far ahead of you, as if he was caught in a trance. It was so weird, because in reality all you could see was his slumped back, his sluggish figure trudging through the forest, but in your mind he was running, he was twirling, he was opening his arms large to welcome the sun into an embrace. If only he would let the freedom that guides his soul be seen, without the fear of being judged or the weight of society pressing down on him.

You weren't mad he left you behind. In fact, you were having a blast just watching him: trip over a rock when he was too occupied looking at the height of the pine trees, taking pictures with his phone of every and any flower he deemed pretty or interesting, whispering "squirrel" and "hello little buddy" whenever he saw a critter.

He would turn around and look at you once in a while to reassure himself you're there and that you're safe. (And weren't stolen by some forest goblin.) Whenever he'd make a pit stop to take pictures you'd catch up with him and he'd ask you if you're okay, if you're bored or if you want him to slow down his pace. You'd tell him no, you'd tell him he's so endearing being in his natural element. And he'd smile, but it wouldn't be the kind of smile that shows a collection of pearly whites or spreads from one ear to the other. Not even his bunny teeth would show; it would be a closed-lipped, subtle smile, that you found was the most meaningful of them all when it came to Minho. It was the smile of "I feel content", it was the smile of "I feel at peace". Put in simple words, it was the smile of "I'm happy." His happiness was quiet, that was what you observed. And this smile, the truest of them all, showed in various situations: when he was taking walks in nature, when he was preparing a meal, when he was playing with his feline babies, and when he was spending time with you. You were part of his silent happiness, and you were perhaps, one of the only ones who knew what it meant.

And understanding one's personality, one's inner workings is not exactly an easy feat. Just how it took millennia for humanity to understand the laws of the universe, Minho thought it would take decades for someone to understand him. That is, if someone ever did.

But when you arrived, it was as if you were an enforcer fighting for the preservation of nature. A flower is most beautiful when it is on the field that it belongs to, rather than being plucked and put into a bouquet, forced to look beautiful for someone else. You preserved the flower where it was. You didn't uproot it. You gave him water, nourishment and talked to him in such a loving manner, that now he blooms so beautifully.

He's become much more beautiful than a human being should ever be.

Minho stopped one more time to take a picture of the path, and the shadows the trees were casting on the ground. A ray of light sneakily made its way through them, casting itself on a ladybug that was climbing up the tree bark. Minho took a picture of the ladybug, then turned towards the stray light and offered his hand to it. He played with the light between his fingers, let it roll along his palm, and then he put his hand down. He looked up, towards the sky, more golden strands of the sun dancing along his face, and he took a deep breath. When he exhaled, his chest looked lighter, and he seemed to begin to shine, a light sparkle dusting the skin of his arms, as if he was really becoming one with the sun.

He was breathtaking.

Having finally caught up with him, your arms circled his waist and you embraced him tightly, cheek smushing into his shoulder blades. It was an urge, an instinct, to do so.

He seemed a little startled, but he didn't complain. He patted your hands gently and then he took a picture of your hands woven so tightly around his torso, without catching his or your face in the picture. You knew that because it became his lockscreen after that day.

As softly as he could muster, as if to not scare you off, Minho held your hand and spun around to face you, his eyes sparkly and curious.

"Everything okay?"

"Mhm." You respond, holding him by the waist as if to show you didn't want him going anywhere. Minho loved the warmth that enveloped him. "You just looked so natural, so genuine." You smile at him, and he instantly knows by your grin you were having a poetic, sappy moment. "You always look like you belong right in nature. Had to touch you to make sure you're real." You emphasize your words by squeezing a little bit at his hips and the skin above his ribs, and he lets out a cat-like yelp that makes you giggle.

You become an entanglement of limbs when Minho decides to cup both sides of your face as you're holding him. Your face slightly mushed together, he angles your eyes to look into his, and none of you would win the competition of who's more enamoured than the other.

"Sometimes I really can't help but wonder... what are those pretty eyes of yours seeing when you look at me?" He asks in the softest way possible, and you're suddenly caught in a trance. His eyes pull you closer, his skin continues to sparkle, and a gentle warm breeze seems to circle the two of you.

"Magic." You answer, promptly, with certainty, still bewitched by the portrait of him among the trees. He lets out a puff of hair as he chuckles, but he doesn't mock you. He caressed your face with his thumb and you too feel warm.

"Magic?"

"It's like the magic of nature is coursing through you..." You begin to rant, but figure out finding the right words is quite a challenge. But Minho was patient. "It's hard to explain. It's like you're out of this world ... and yet the most human I've ever seen someone be... The most natural." Minho has heard this song and dance before. Countless of times you've called him a forest fairy, a fae, a nymph...but to him the most fascinating part of it was how you were able to tell. You could see where he belonged, where he shone the brightest. You allowed him to realize when he was happy and not be scared of that happiness; therefore, there was only one thought forming at the back of his mind. A thought, that was of course, completely random and not something he's thought about hundreds of times before while you were sound asleep.

"Marry me." He blurts out, and you blink at him, awaiting a grin, a laugh, a smirk, a signal of a joke. But there was none. He was solemn and focused as he watched the slight panic in your gaze.

"Do you really mean it?"

"Yes. I mean, not now. Someday." He answers in a split of a second. But then, he backs out as if burnt. Maybe, just maybe, he let his impulses get the better of him. "Why, do you not feel the same? It's okay, you can tell me if I'm being too pushy-" He's panicking, and panic doesn't fit his handsome features. So you grab him by the shoulders and kiss him with passion.

Kissing Minho was addicting.

"You're the first person I've ever liked kissing this much." You confess to him after you break apart. Then, you wrap your arms around him yet again and rest your head on his chest, your ear prying in to listen to the alarmed pace of his heart. You squeeze him tight, so very tight, almost like he was a teddy bear. "The first person I've liked holding so much." His heart continued to drum, for he was confused about what you were saying. Was he getting an answer to his question or was this your subtle way of switching the subject, saying that you weren't ready yet? Minho tries to calm down in order to focus on what you were saying. "The only one for which romance made sense." You begin to explain, your cheek still tightly pressed into his chest. You're calm and you speak in what is almost a whisper. "Feelings aren't supposed to be logical, I know, but... being with you is. It's logical... it just makes sense, being in love with you. I can never blame myself for it, never hold myself accountable. Because falling in love with you ...came to me as naturally as breathing; like it was always part of my DNA."

There is a nature in all of us. Cells, stardust, but mostimportantly, love. To love is human nature, fact discovered ever since medieval times. Whether you loved God like Dante, or loved humans like Boccaccio, it is destined for all of us to love.

"Because I'm nature...?"

He was human, he was nature, and towards him you felt only that which is most natural.

"Because you're nature. And I love nature." You pull back to look at him and are startled to see the ocean of his eyes, the reflection of stars in the sea. He was trying not to cry, and looking at you with the fondness of a thousand families.

"Nature loves you too, kitten." Once more he holds your face close, but this time around he leans down to kiss you on the forehead. It is a long kiss. It is a warm kiss. It is a meaningful kiss. "The whole world does. And I do even more." Words like these touched chords inside your heart you didn't even know could be touched. Minho always told you so, that you weren't just worthy of his love, but the love of every single person on this planet.

"Yeah, I bet the world loves me if they gave me you." You say, and Minho thinks you are joking. You weren't, but there was perhaps a limit of how sappy a moment can be until it gets truly too much.

"Ew." He jokes back, scrunching his nose to fake disgust. A grin appears on his face, which you mimic.

And that's all you do for a while. Like a movie panorama, you stay there to look at each other. The clouds, the trees, something must have moved with the wind since the sun starts to line both of your faces. One of your eyes starts to squint because of the light, and suddenly it hits you.

"So, are we married now? Where's my ring?"

Minho didn't expect that, and there were a number of reasons why you were sure of it; one, because he starts to blabber and two, because his ears turned red.

"Well, I uh, I uh, don't- I said someday... Not this exact moment! Uhm...Hold on." It's a good thing Minho was a boy scout when he was young, although he would have never thought his skills would come in handy in a situation like this.

You're confused about what he was planning, but you let him do his thing. He squats down next to a group of small, white flowers and plucks them out from the ground in such a manner that their stems remain very long. Then, he picks a strand of grass and takes your hand in his to measure your finger with it. After he has your measurements, he begins to wrap the flower stems around the grass strand with such craftsmanship, almost as if it hasn't been 15 years since he last made a ring out of flowers.

When he is done, he gingerly slides it up your ring finger and he's proud like a child. The ring is cute, tiny and light, and it tickles your finger softly. It's not gold or diamonds, but it is a promise, and it is so much more natural than forged metals and stolen minerals. So much more Minho.

"There you go." He beams proudly. Truth be told, he is flabbergasted he managed to make the ring actually hold without falling apart. "Now we share all of our assets and you are legally obligated to feed my cats when I'm not at home and clean out their litters." He speaks matter of factly, and you slap him on the chest.

"You only want me so I can do your chores! Tsk, I think our marriage is already falling apart." You joke, pretending to turn around and pout. Minho finds you hilarious, especially as he envelops you from the back and holds you in a pretend chokehold.

"The only thing falling apart is gonna be my wallet when I buy you that ring." You don't know if it's the light of the sun or you're blushing, but your face grows hot. Getting married was, of course, the natural order of progressing things in a relationship. But a part of you has always wondered if you are someone to deem worthy of marriage; if that's something that would ever happen to you. Now that such reality was approaching, it did really feel like magic.

Minho released you from the tight hold and decided to walk with your hand in his instead. He was looking at your finger, at the hand-made flower ring, and his quiet, peaceful smile came back to his face.

"I promise I'll get you a real ring soon. You'll have it on your finger by the time we come here again." He speaks softly, in a murmur, but you hear him. You stay quiet, but he sees you nod. You acknowledge his promise, and a completely harmless anxiety mixes in with the excitement that comes with thinking of that day.

"Does that mean we're not gonna have a vacation here for the next 5 years?" Minho rolls his eyes at your question, and the sappiness finally seems to come to an end; you're back to your lighthearted vacation.

-------------------------------

"Or perhaps I'll make you live in the wild with me for the next five years. If we never leave we can't come back." He wiggles his eyebrows at you, gives you his trademark serial killer look, and there was never a moment when you've loved him more. Never a moment when you've loved him more naturally.

.

©amelee23 do not copy, repost or translate.

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[missmaywemeetagain]

Got a Lotta Lovin' to Do (A Scarf Universe Story) ❤️‍🔥

Okay, sooooo...this just came to me in a strange fit of inspiration this week. It's naughty but also a little sweet in concept. It may not be for everyone, so let's say it's currently canon adjacent for the Pink Scarf Universe...

This takes place a few months post A Pink Scarf Thanksgiving, in February of 1978. Yes, I know, we make it to '78 and there is something both heart wrenching but also wonderful in that, isn't there?

I wanted something that felt real but also a bit indulgent, and also wanted to bring our spitfire Sandy back into play. In fact, I made it from Sandy's perspective, which was a bit challenging considering the use of second person, but hopefully it makes sense!!

Premise is that Reader is in a fix, desperate to coax a very nervous Elvis back into her bed, and enlists her best friend Sandy to help in an unorthodox way. 

Anyway, I'm a bit nervous about this one 😬 and am just sort of testing the waters as a preview, so let me know if you like it and want me to continue it! (Also, the turnaround was fast, so please excuse the semi-rough edit/revision! 🙏🏼)

xoxoxox, Madi 💗

(listen, I know this pic is much earlier than '78, but the vibe is right and the hint of silver at his roots seems applicable and has me in a chokehold, so bear with me here...)

TW: sexy smutty stuff, heading towards a threesome (mff/fmf), mention of medical issues/trauma, sassy Sandy, silver fox Elvis!!🦊

Got a Lotta Lovin’ to Do

February 1978

“Darlin’, you sayin’ what I think you’re sayin’?” he asks you. Elvis’ eyebrow is halfway to his hairline and he sounds more incredulous than hopeful, but Sandy can see the twinkle in his eyes when they slide over to her. It’s more than a cursory glance, one filled with questions and a latent heat. She wrestles with the urge to fidget under his gaze, clenching and unclenching her fists instead of looking away from his scrutiny.

She’s certainly never been one to back down from a fight, not even with the enigma that is Elvis Presley.

Especially not with him, she thinks.

But Elvis has never looked at her like this before and even knowing him as long as she has, she isn’t unaffected. Despite everything he’s been through this past year, he still has the ability to level a woman with a look, she’ll give him that.

His eyes slide back over to you, and Sandy can breathe again. It’s gonna be a long night, she thinks, if a mere glance has her feeling so exposed.

You nod, biting your lip, and she knows how nervous you are, how desperate you are for this to work. She grabs your hand in solidarity and you squeeze it in return.

If it were anyone but you, she wouldn’t have agreed to this. It is much too messy, but extraordinary people and circumstances call for extraordinary measures, and being in Elvis’ world has always meant living in shades of gray.

Sandy knows she’s the only one you’ll trust with this. For as much shit as she gives Elvis, she loves and cares about you both deeply, more than she might voice in mixed company. And you know she understands why this is so important.

Now the two of you just need to convince Elvis of it, too. Though by the increasing level of tension in the room and the way he adjusts himself in his seat, Sandy doesn’t think it’ll take much persuading.

He cuts quite the figure, sitting there in the plush, golden, velvet chair with his bejeweled fingers tapping a slow and steady rhythm out on the arms. After what happened last summer, he’d finally let his hair grow out to its natural color, the salt-and-pepper combined with glinting silvery streaks. It’s incredibly striking, giving him an even more handsome and regal air than before, if that’s possible. With his new post-recovery regime, he is looking good and, according to you, feeling healthier than he had in years. The result is attractive, to say the least.

But while that side of things improved, the sexual piece apparently has not.

Sandy and you perch on the edge of the bed, sitting so close you are pressed against each other, facing him, waiting for his verdict. Elvis takes in the two of you closely before sliding his eyes back over to her.

“And you, Sandra? You agreed to this?” His voice is laden with curiosity and surprise. She doesn’t blame him.

“Yes, with conditions,” she says, willing her voice to stay steady and calm when she’s feeling anything but.

He chuckles darkly. “Of course. I’d expect nothin’ less from you, honey.”

The endearment, one he’s used with her a million times over the years, now comes out laden and warm, sliding through her veins like liquid heat. She’s not sure how she feels about it, to be honest, but it’s a little late to turn back now.

Sandy looks at you for permission to continue. You nod.

“Okay, first, this is a one-time deal,” she begins, forcing herself to look him straight in those endlessly blue eyes.

His lips curve up with the beginning of a smirk and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know what he’s thinking. She thinks it’s funny how he’s posturing, considering the whole reason she is here is to help bolster his confidence, but she supposes over twenty years of adoration from females makes his response a habit.

Honestly, it’s the stipulation she’s the least worried about, it being there more for your sake than hers, and it gives you all an out if this goes south. But boundaries are good for Elvis. So she quirks a brow back at him until he nods.

“Second, no one hears about this. It’s a nonstarter. No bragging to the guys, ever. No one outside this room can ever know…especially not Jerry.”

This is the one she is most worried about. While her marriage to Jerry ended over half a decade ago, on relatively decent terms considering the circumstances, she knows this would cut Jer to the core, and that is not why she’s here. Jerry isn’t in Elvis’ employ anymore, but they are still good friends, brothers even, and she doesn’t want to ruin their relationship.

A cloud of seriousness falls over Elvis’ face, banishing his earlier mirth, and that lets her know they are on the same page with this one, despite his terrible track record of secret keeping. “Done,” he says with finality.

“Good. Third, I reserve the right to bow out at any time,” she adds.

“Honey, I’d never force you to do somethin’ you din’t want to do. Ain’t never been like that and ain’t startin’ now,” he says with surprising gentleness.

She nods, expecting as much. Taking a deep breath, she pauses before the last request, mainly because she can’t believe she’s actually saying it out loud. Might as well just get it done.

“Finally, your dick stays out of my pussy.”

He chuckles at your frankness while you choke, coughing wildly—she hadn’t warned you about this one. It’s more the principle of the thing, really. She is along for the ride, sure, but in the end, she’s mostly here for your wellbeing. And by the way he looks at Sandy with something akin to respect and nods as she rubs his wife’s back, she knows he understands.

You eventually recover from Sandy’s bluntness, turning your attention back to your husband with a hopeful look in your eyes. “So, is this…I mean…do you want to do this, baby?”

For the first time, you see his trepidation, his overwhelm of the situation only barely covered by his mask of humor. This is what you’d been talking about, this reluctance and lack of self-assurance. When you’d come to her about the fact that Elvis hadn’t been intimate with you since the medical crisis that nearly killed him, it made perfect sense. Not only had he gone through something terrifying, but his surgeries also changed his body in ways that must have been uncomfortable. Coupled with extensive recovery and weaning off old medications and starting new ones, it was a recipe for disaster in the bedroom.

Sandy knew you had to be desperate for you to ask her for this kind of help. You knew it wasn’t because Elvis found you unattractive or didn’t love you anymore—he was afraid he couldn’t perform, afraid he couldn’t satisfy you, and you were afraid you’d hurt him somehow. It was obvious your sex life had been amazing in the past, though according to you, it had dwindled the sicker and more in denial about things he’d gotten. But for you to invite her into the bedroom to put the spark back in their marriage wasn’t something Sandy had expected.

Apparently, Elvis loved some girl-on-girl threesome action and had indulged in such things back before you and he had finally gotten together. You were never entirely comfortable with the idea when Elvis brought it up in the past—the idea of sharing him didn’t sit well and knowing Elvis, he’d make some poor woman fall in love with him or someone would talk and you’d be in a fix, so the idea had been nixed before it could take root.

But now you were frantic and willing to try almost anything, which apparently included asking your best friend to fool around with you and your husband.

It’s a matter of trust, you’d said, twiddling your fingers uncomfortably in Sandy’s kitchen, tears pooled in your eyes. You knew she’d never talk, knew she’d never betray you, and most importantly, knew she could separate sex from emotion and would never fall in love with your husband.

It was all true. How could she say no to you when you needed her help so badly? So, here she was, apprehensive but intrigued, waiting for Elvis to decide all of your fates.

“You can just watch, baby, if you want to, or whatever, it’s fine,” you encourage him when he seems frozen and unable to respond. Sandy can see you both floundering in indecision and fear and can’t stand it anymore. She’s never been one for patience or inaction, after all, so without further ado, she silences your pleas for your husband’s attention with her lips.

“Oh!” you exclaim in quiet surprise against her mouth, your hands flailing a bit in resistance.

Talking about something like this and doing it are two different things, Sandy knows, but she persists, kissing you gently, hands cupping your cheeks, until you relax enough to kiss her back. She can’t help but feel a little gratification when you sigh softly and yield to her, your hands flitting to the curve of her hips.

It would be stupid to say she didn’t find both you and Elvis attractive, but never in her wildest dreams had it been in the cards to have either of you, so she’d never dwelled much on it. But now, feeling the weight of his gaze as she laps her tongue between your lips, testing your willingness to do this, her body lights on fire.

She pushes through the foreign feeling of being watched so intimately, knowing this is just as much about putting on a good show than anything else, but she didn’t expect it to be quite so tantalizing. Something about being the one to take charge sends a thrill down her spine. Dragging her lips down your neck to your collarbone, she knows she’s not imagining the rapid fluttering of your pulse under her lips or the way you lean back to give her more access.

You’ve never been with a woman, but she knows it’s been a long time since you’ve had attention of this sort from your man, either so when Sandy trails her fingers down over your breast, she feels the jolt go through you. Her moves are deliberate but slow, allowing you to acclimate, allowing Elvis to take in every movement.

She can’t help the warmth pooling in her belly when she palms the heaviness of your breast, pinching your clothed nipple and you gasp, arching into her with genuine willingness.

“Lord have mercy,” Elvis huffs quietly, and you both know you have him.

It’s much too easy, then, to unbutton your blouse, exposing the white lace bra underneath before pulling hers up over her head to reveal her own. You’d been clear about the white—apparently he gets all kinds of excited about little white underthings—and far be it for her to ignore such a titillating detail.

Sandy takes it upon herself to continue the play, pressing her lips to the soft skin of your décolletage, following the soft rise of your breasts before nuzzling and nipping at the dusky areola peek-a-booing through the lace. Mewling and pawing at her head, you are strung so tight Sandy thinks you’re not acting in the least.

It’s a little strange, this softness of your curves against her own, but pleasant. Moreover is the deep satisfaction in her belly at drawing little whimpers out of you as she kisses and reveals more of your skin. Even more surprising is the gratification of bringing something out of both you and your husband that has been out of reach for much too long.

Your fingers cart through her hair, manicured nails tickling her scalp in a way that makes her vibrate. She arches at the contact and looks up at you with a coy smile, sliding a hand up your smooth leg and under the hem of your skirt.

Elvis clears his throat, interrupting them. “Be good lil’ girls f’me and s-strip down to your panties,” he says in a gravelly voice Sandy has never been privy to hearing. A shiver runs down her spine, melting and churning with all the new feelings the evening is bringing. His tone is halfway between a need and a command and neither of you need to be asked twice.

Her inhibitions fall to the floor in a heap along with pants and skirts and bras. Never once in her life did she expect to feel Elvis’ heavy, heated gaze turned on her nearly naked form but now that it’s happening, she can’t help but squirm a little. She has nothing to prove and is usually confident in her skin, but she’s certainly not a young woman anymore, her body soft and curvy with the changes age brings. Her only consolation is at least the three of you are in relatively the same boat in that regard.

Sneaking a glance at Elvis, she is bit relieved to find his examination admiring rather than turned off. Though, considering he has two naked women ready to do his bidding, it seems the natural response.

“Don’t be shy, Satnin. I’m sure Sandra won’t bite toohard if you touch her,” he muses, those bedroom eyes of his flickering with lust. You giggle nervously and then look to Sandy for permission, which she gives with a nod and a reassuring smile.

Your caress is timid at first, then more exploratory of her body than she expects. Maybe it’s the resounding hum of encouragement from your husband giving you more confidence or just pure sexual energy and curiosity, but whatever it is has Sandy feeling delightful. A tweak of a nipple here. A soft tongue there. Hands and mouths finding a rhythm of pleasure.

Sandy palms your bottom, running her fingertips down along the seam of your white underwear, when Elvis cuts in, his voice thick with desire:

“Play with her an’ make her feel good, Sandra.”

Tingles erupt over her skin. She follows orders, sliding her hand down into your panties and through your soft curls until she reaches your hooded clit. She rubs gently, like she would do to herself, and you gasp in her mouth, body bowing to get more friction.

After a few moments, the unmistakable sound of a zipper clicks through the air. Her body suddenly burns with the scandalous nature of it all, and her excitement surprises her.

“Is she wet?” he asks Sandy.

Sliding her fingers down, she can feel the slick of your arousal on her fingertips.

“Yes,” she says unabashedly.

A pause.

“Are you?” His voice is low and dripping with honey.

A pulse of heat starts throbbing in her core, and for the first time tonight, she stumbles over her words, suddenly breathless. “I…I think so?”

“Honey, see if you’re makin’ Sandra excited,” he commands you, then with humor adds, “She apparently doesn’t know.”

Sandy throws a glare Elvis’ way but then your fingers are cold against the blazing heat of her muff, a sensation which makes her jump as you glide your fingers over sensitive, slick skin.

“She’s soaked,” you relay demurely, and all at once Sandy feels like the tables have turned in this little tableau.

“Show me. Both of you.”

His demand makes her stomach drop, like she’s on a roller coaster.

She feels disappointed when you pull your hand away, and the sentiment feels mutual. Both of you display your shining fingers in the dim light.

Elvis crooks his finger and beckons you both closer.

There’s no helping the curious way her eyes drift down and land on his dusky pink cock, the head peeking out from his foreskin, dripping and standing at full attention now he’s been released from the confines of his black pants. Sandy’s mouth goes dry when she realizes just how much nature has blessed him in ways other than his talent.

Is it wrong that she wants to touch it, to feel the heavy heat of him in her palm? To make him shudder underneath her touch? Perhaps so. The itch to torture him with her body just a little for every cunning remark and every dumbass selfish move he’s made in the last 15 years is strong and it makes her tingle just to think of.

He must read the look on her face because his eyes go a bit wide with something unreadable before narrowing with laser focus.

Her heart starts thudding against her ribcage, all the blood rushing out of her head when he wraps his large hand around her wrist, dwarfing it, and pulls her between his spread muscular thighs. Then he draws those glistening fingers of hers right into his mouth.

She gasps. Every nerve in her body is set alight with fireworks as he sucks her fingers clean of his wife’s arousal, his tongue warm and soft and oh-so thorough.

It’s her whimpering now as he pins her with his flaming eyes. Her breath catches. His mouth pops off her digits.

“Mmm…sweet as a sundae. You’ll see, Sandra Dee.” A slow, sly grin spreads across his handsome face as he releases her wrist.

Being on the other end of that devastating smile, especially in a situation like this, has her trembling. It pisses her off a little, actually, that he’s having this effect, and by the glint in his eye, he knows it.

Like he’s saying, Game on.

Then, he looks to you, pulling you close. His mischievousness softens slightly. Sandy is glad to see under the red flush of pleasure on your cheeks there is also a look of relief on your face, as if you are thinking, “Oh, thank heavens, it’s working.”

Sandy steps back, happy to give the couple space, but Elvis’ hand shoots out, latching onto her arm.

“Nuh uh, now where d’ya think you’re goin’?” It’s husky and playful but also fraught with an undercurrent of tension, as though he’s not quite ready and maybe a little nervous about being alone with his wife. He keeps his hand on her arm but turns his attention to you.

“Haven’t sampled another pussy in a loooong time, lil’ mama,” he drawls up at you, “Ya sure you wanna give daddy a taste?” His brow quirks, asking for permission, making sure you’re still comfortable with this arrangement you’ve surprised him with. The words are confident, but Sandy can hear the gravity behind them.

You nod encouragingly. “Yes.”

“Mm’kay then,” and then he sucks your fingers right into his mouth.

Sandy can’t help but blush wildly as she watches him savor her off his wife’s hand. And it’s positively obscene the way he opens his eyes and stares into hers brazenly as he does it.

Never has she felt quite so exposed. Arousal swirls in her core, betraying all her sensibilities.

Elvis runs his tongue under his upper lip after he’s done, where he lets it peek out at the corner of his mouth with a smirk. “Now ain’t that jus’ the cherry on top,” he purrs, eyes sparkling.

Sandy hates how she goes a bit weak in the knees at that. God, this man infuriates her, always has in that loving way of his, but this is a whole different level of understanding and intimacy she’s not accustomed to with him.

But whether she likes it or not, her body is absolutely buzzing with anticipation for the both of you, as evidenced by the way she clenches her thighs and the way her panties get just a little bit more ruined.

The motion doesn’t go unnoticed by Elvis, and his gaze darkens.

Oh, it’s gonna be a long night, alright.

A long night, indeed.

*

As always, I love and live for your reactions, comments, asks, and reblogs, so thank you in advance for both reading and giving another one of my stories a chance! 

Taglist Pt 1

@eliseinmemphis@russian-soft-bitch@tattywood

@sassanoe@thella @suspiciousmidge @hiddlepiddlediddlewiddle@carolinesbookworld @juggernort @aesthetic-lyss @stitchattacks @donnamarie23

 @littlebitofgreen@paigevis@bugg06@xhannahbananax03@artlover8992

@18lkpeters@frozenhuntress67@girlblogger2002@kendralavon7@misspresley

@be-my-ally @whositmcwhatsit @vintageshanny @ellie-24 @thatbanditqueen @powerofelvis @from-memphis-with-love

 @precious-lil-scoundrel @stylespresleyhearted @prompted-wordsmith @crash-and-cure @elvisgf @lookingforrainbows @fic-over-cannon @godlypresley @ab4eva @whatstruthgottodowithit @elvisabutler @amydarcimarie@idontwanttoputanything @callieselvisobsessed @captainamerica1235-blog  @xenaspace3-blog 

@simplyamberj@claire-elvisgirl@everythingelvispresley@louisejoy86@deniseinmn @madelynpresley

[twig-tea]

Oppan Ep 1 Has Me On The Floor

I was away for a bit visiting family, and then came back to a massive backlog of QL, and finally caught up on my list of currently airing shows today so that I could watch Ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka, which is only available for watching because it is being subtitled by the incredibly generous @isaksbestpillow. Thank you Siiri!

Friends, I sobbed. This show has me in a chokehold. I had to stop and collect myself before I could write this.

The premise is that an out-of-touch dad is struggling with his familial relationships falling apart and he doesn't understand why, until he talks to a friend of his son's and he starts to get perspective about how to change.

This show is so well done! The way it sets up his toxic masculinity, homophobia, misogyny, and general outdated values, and how his attitudes have a negative impact on everyone around him but he can't understand what he's doing wrong, is perfect. He clearly genuinely loves his wife and kids, and wants to be in their lives, and be a good coworker for his colleagues too, but he sucks.

Makoto starts the show by being very solidly clear that he's in the right and everyone around him is in the wrong, but that gets shaken as his relationship with his son especially begins to crumble. His son is struggling, and it is killing Makoto that he can't find the words to help. Kakeru has stopped going to school for the past month, he barely leaves his room, and he won't talk to his dad.

When Makoto walks in and finds a kid who his wife has informed him is gay sitting with Kakeru and painting each other's nails, he loses it. Daichi (the gay kid) is surprisingly unaffected by the blatant homophobia, and tries to take the moment to normalize being gay for Makoto. Kakeru eventually gets so mad at his father that he kicks him out of his room, which hurts Makoto's feelings. This was the first moment I got misty, because of Daichi being so self-assured and willing to take on this teachable moment, and then because Kakeru stood up for his friend. [We don't know what's going on with Kakeru at this point sexuality-wise, but he's been very fixated on feminine makeup, and clearly afraid for his father to know about any of it.]

Later, Daichi finds Makoto drinking sadly alone on a staircase and sits down to have a conversation with him, and offers to help him 'update' his values so that he can reconnect with his family. This is where I sobbed. Daichi is clearly motivated to help for his own reasons; he sees a dad trying his best but failing, and he cares about Kakeru and wants his friend to have a good relationship with his dad because Daichi didn't get the chance to have one with his own (he was raised by a single mom). He takes the time to explain things to Makoto in ways that will get through, and this is a gift that Makoto recognizes and grasps with both hands.

Makoto acknowledges the truth that he has to change if he wants his relationships to change, accepts that this means he will have to do the work, and apologizes to his son. It's a clumsy apology with a false start, which makes it feel even more real. This is not a magical panacea, but the start of a difficult journey that he's undertaking out of love and a desire to be loved.

Personal shit on the table, my dad still doesn't know I'm queer. He told me and my brother to never tell him if we were, and I've listened. I stepped away from my family for years (and into dire straits for awhile), and when I let them back into my life, I decided for myself that I wasn't going to hide who I am but I wasn't going to come out to him either, because he hasn't earned it. When we're in shared spaces, we exist together in a kind of limbo that is not unlike the one at the start of this show. So to watch a dad who recognizes that he's losing his kid due to his own prejudices and actively try to change to repair the relationship is hitting some deep, old wounds, in a good way.

My own wounds aside, this show is so, so good already, and I'm so grateful that I get to watch it! It feels very purposeful, is very brilliantly told, with complex and relatable characters, and all of the acting is spectacular. And for those who don't want to watch if the gay character's sexuality is sidelined, Siiri has confirmed that Daichi is in a relationship and that the show spends time with him and his boyfriend as well (looking forward to getting there!). If you haven't taken the time, go download and watch this show from Siiri's blog, she's currently up to 6/11 episodes subbed.

[aixeko]

I need to write more for my soulmate AHEM Kafka, I did her so dirty in my first ever fanfic I swear.

I miss the Kafka hype so much, IT'S BEEN A YEARR KAFKA COME BACKKK. This woman has been my obsession for so long that atp she's engraved into my soul. This woman got me researching criminal psychology, animating + drawing her, and being the reason why I picked up writing again. I got a mini shrine (planning to expand it soon) for her, and a phone case, and every time new content drops I start acting like a stray animal.

You don't know how ballistic I was when I found out this woman got a hand tattoo like I manifested that shit with my fic title. Kafka's coat and makeup went off and my clothes went with it, like how can this woman be so god damn majestic. She's so feminine and masculine simultaneously like my baby can pull off both genders urghgbss.

She is the only character who I had ever analyzed every little detail of, and heck I can still miss some. From the way she talks to the way she acts, it is all so abstract but that's what makes her so enticing.

I worship the ground she walks on like who wouldn't?? No Hoyoverse character has me in such a chokehold as Kafka does. I swear on my LIFE that if they butcher Kafka's character or don't give her some sort of grand entrance after over a year of literal crumbs then I will lose it.

If they reduce her character to what they did with Jane Doe I swear I'm going to commit… They're both so mischaracterized like they both fit in with the "Femme Fatale" troupe but often time their seductive and flirtatious nature is the most prominent in the eyes of the fandoms rather than what lay inside those lackluster one dimensional persona.

And because of this I will forever hate the mommy/daddy kink like lord I got both issues and I do not want to be calling the love of my life the title MEANT for the one who gave birth to me. I can endure it to some extent but it is just fucking weird as hell, of course this is just my perspective on it and honestly as long as it don't overshadow the character itself than I couldn't care less.

Anyway, in conclusion Kafka is my lord and savior. Waiting patiently (not) for her glorious return, and manifesting for more eidolons so I can hopefully get her E6 before 2024 ends or something.

[p-eleles]

hi I love your new kalim-centric fic and im so happy there is leokali. haha who is the one person who everyone will see as a threat but who they cannot dare try to declaw… that’s right. i know leona isn’t even in the story yet but im already imagining with the preface of the first chapter set in, it’s such a refreshing perspective on their relationship; that kalim will pursue leona for the sincere want (visceral need) of having something or someone no one can take away or dare to impede the development of. how leona responds is an interpretation that can vary depending on what aspect of his character you lean into but “leona is bad with feelings” tag gives me so much love in my heart that leona and kalim will be treated with care as characters. im so excited for this thank you for spawning this fic into the ao3 void

You did it. You've cracked the initial nature of Kalim's interest and desire to pursue Leona in one ask! What can I say? Kalim loves his big cats. The more likely to snap at him, the better. I don't think Leona might like candied fruits, but the prospect of eating from Kalim's hand is tempting ( ￣-￣)

One thing (one of many, honestly) that I find very interesting about Kalim is, to paraphrase, when he showed genuine delight and joy at him and Jamil fighting because it was the most genuine interaction they'd had... ever. Kalim is naive, born from his optimistic outlook of life that itself was granted from the position he was born in, but he's not stupid. He's aware that many of his relationships are built on unequal ground—Jamil is his servant first and foremost; he's the dormleader of Scarabia (and sure, he got the position fair and square, but he wouldn't even be in Night Raven College if his parents hadn't bought his way in); he's not just rich rich, he's rich with prestige. Kalim's family name is a title all of its own.

He's clear that is the reason behind why people, if they don't like him, are at least obsequient. It's why his dream in Book 7 is incredibly fascinating. Kalim wants to truly be friends with Jamil without the weight of their respective roles hindering them. He desires people's honesty. Yet he's never anything but nice and sweet and loving when it comes to this, even in the privacy of his dreams.

And you know, obligatory Disney references all around: Kalim is twisted from the Sultan, but he's also a very Jasmine figure, desiring earnest connections and having Jamil/Jafar as something of an obstacle in that aspect. And also being good at throwing hands, for some reason (RIP Kalim, you would've loved Desert Scourge!Jasmine. Not).

Canonically, Leona likes Kalim. In his own particular way of liking people, but still. He recognizes his strengths and, most importantly of all, trusts him. And Kalim likes him back! Their dynamic is pretty limited compared to other characters, but the similarities between them have me in a chokehold. They're both characters best summed up as "I'll hold all my emotions here, and then one day, I'll die," except in vastly opposite directions. Plus, there's also the whole "disdained second born prince" vs. "beloved heir" and how Kalim's magic brings life while Leona's only destroys. He doesn't sugar coat what he feels or thinks–though he's king of obfuscation when he wants–and to Kalim, that earnest nature would be incredibly refreshing.

I feel like I can't write about a romance with Leona and not tag that he's bad at feelings. Kalim is in for a ride, but he's also horrifically bad at vocalizing his true desires. It's a very steep learning curve here, folks.

There's so much I want to say that I can't put to words in this ask because exactly! Kalim is driven by a desperate need to know he's genuinely loved, not because of who he is, but just because. Bro wants to be loved on purpose, not the uncertainty of a life where he's only given so much because he was born first!

[theweirdgoodbyes]

20 Questions for 20 Writers (where did the other 10 questions go?)

thank you for the tag @bossboudicca!

Is writing a hobby or way of life?

hmm a bit of both! I've been writing since I was a wee one and I would love to be able to write for a living but that is not currently in the cards

2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

my shit is messy af, I've got some voice memos to myself, my notes app is full of bits of dialogue and ideas. but once I'm finalized something ill copy and paste to new documents and make that look nice and neat

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

every aspect of my life has inspired me one way or another, I could see a leaf blowing by and it'll give me an idea. however they are not always good ideas!

4. Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

oh god, both are rough but probably someone reading my first draft because I will do karaoke with no shame if I get one or two drinks in me. having someone read my writing is tougher

5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective?

sometimes! it mostly pushes me to study a character and see how they would think about something/react and how that differs from my own thoughts and reactions

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

my ass used to live on FFN but AO3 is my preferred now

7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

29930 and I wish it was higher! I've been struggling with writers block recently

8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

fuck dude so many. any HBO War (aside from MOTA) show has me in an absolute chokehold but one pic that really really stood out to me is a Captain America/stucky fic called Dreamers With Empty Hands by girlbookwrm on AO3. Highly recommend it.

9. What's the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it?

I have been lucky enough to receive some wonderful comments on my fics, I really couldn't ask for more! I do like when I am able to invoke some emotion in someone, from a funny line or a sad one!

10. What defines your writing style?

semi colons up the wazoo my guy. and references to religion

no pressure tags! @pfctipper @cinnamonrollsledge @lamialamia @blood-mocha-latte and anyone else who wants to do it!

[mdhwrites]

You made a decent argument for why heroes not killing villains doesn't count as 'inaction,' but going back to that subject, would you agree that stories where heroes spare villains despite killing dozens of their faceless/nameless henchmen are total BS?

To give you a good example in a recent Star Wars game: the main character kills a fuckton of stormtroopers, but when he's got a high-ranking imperial in a chokehold, another character's like 'No! You'll lose yourself to the Dark Side if you take a life in cold blood!' So killing mooks is fine, but when the would-be victim has a face or a name, now taking a life is a serious matter? Fuck off.

Unintentionally implies life only has worth if said life is someone of high rank/power, and that their grunts are nothing but unimportant muscle despite being every bit as 'alive' as their boss is. Even if you disagree with Batman's no-kill rule, at least he's fucking consistent about it.

There's a VERY important part here that's easy to miss: Cold-blood. What does that mean?

Well, it's actually somewhat literal. You're not in a panic state. You do not have adrenaline pumping through your veins, this isn't life or death and you have no excuse for killing this person instead of obeying the law and bringing them in for a fair trial. When this is brought up, this is even usually true. All the guards are dead, no one is coming to save them and it's just the hero's own morals that decide whether justice, or vengeance, is performed.

But what about the guards? Why are their deaths not in cold blood? Bear with me for a second because I do promise this is complicated but we'll start with the simple reading: In law, there is a principal (that I hope I'm remembering right) called inherent risk. What this means is that when taking an action or accepting a job, you are liable for the basic risks that come with that action. You break into someone's house, it is an inherent risk of doing that that you'll take a bat to the face. If you shoot at someone as a soldier, there is an inherent risk that you will be shot back at and die. You have put someone in a situation where if you are not neutralized in someway, they are going to die and they are meeting you with equal force. You have made their blood run hot.

So... What about when a hero is at extreme fault for causing the situation in the first place? The bad faith argument here actually WILL say inaction is the best policy. That they made the choice to go into a place that would put their lives at risk like this, that would get them shot at, while in a calm, cold blooded state and so every death they cause is just as bad as the one they try to make important. As such, they should have either made a plan that would cause zero deaths or they shouldn't have done it at all. This is bad faith though because, well... What do you do about the bad guy then? Not even just from a narrative perspective but from a societal perspective. If you know there is evil being done, and you have tried the normal, non-violent options, or believe that those options will not work, what are you supposed to do? Are you supposed to sit on your hands or try to fix it? We would like to be able to do something about the pain and suffering being caused and so in stories, we empower our heroes to do the morally gray action of leaving the law behind and becoming vigilantes but we do make sure they're doing it in the right ways to avoid implying that "MURDER IS THE BEST!"

This is why most plans heroes make are essentially heists (barring video games but that conversation is essentially the core of why we have the term ludo-narrative dissonance.) So many stories have our heroes try to come up with a plan that involves as little harm as possible. If you have to deal with guards, KNOCK THEM OUT. If you have to worry about a whole room of enemies who could come get you? LOCK THEM IN. Etc. etc. The goal is to get in, get the job done, get out with as few casualties as possible. Due to what is exciting because it's fun to see the plan go wrong, we will often get fighting but at that point, the adrenaline is on and these people aren't Batman. They don't have literally every tool humanly possible to non-lethally take someone out, they at best have one non-lethal option and a gun. Someone is probably just going to have to die and the heroes might even be sad about that fact later on.

HOWEVER

If the heroes DON'T try this, if their plan is literally "We're going through the front door, murdering EVERYONE we come across until we get to the top floor and then we'll talk about it," then there is no excuse. We are to what your complaint is but also... How many stories are actually like that? Again, besides video games where that is actually the literal structure of some of them. Most stories don't go this route though because A: it's boring and B: it's morally repugnant and indefensible.

The other closest genre that comes to this is commonly fantasy or really any media that is meant to be of a less civilized time, such as post apocalypse. "There's a bandit camp, these bandits are murdering people, please murder them." "The evil lord will never stop until he is killed so break into his castle, face his puzzles and then stab him in the face." However, in those media... The fucker doesn't live. There is reason because the moral axis has already been skewed by setting and the person in question has essentially made their entire existence a kill or be killed question. Hence the phrase "Live by the sword, die by the sword." If you exist mostly within violence, you are asking for violence to be enacted on you in turn. Even with this being said, most teen fantasy will actually use the fact that blades, magic and bows are actually a lot less deadly than guns and have our protagonists knock out, not murder, their opponents. This is how most Shounen get around this sort of issue because the body can take a LOOOOOT of punches before it will stop functioning entirely but much fewer punches before it will temporarily turn off. You know, when murder isn't the main modus operandi in those works.

There are a lot of justifications for why these works do what they do when they want to involve this trope but despite all of this, I won't argue that no works do it without the proper considerations. It's kind of too classic a trope for that. A lot of lazy or bad fiction will potentially include it without blinking, just like they might bring up "I don't kill" while very clearly having them take LOOOOTS of actions that would kill LOOOOOTS of people. And that is BS. See you next-

Addendum: I was wrapping this up in a different direction and remembered that the example you provided WAS a game. As such, I'm going to try and quickly, oh god, discuss ludo-narrative dissonance in this context and why it's one of those things that makes talking about video game stories a bitch and a half. Oh, and for those who do not know it: Ludo-narrative dissonance is when the actions you take as a player are not reflected by the story being told. When you can take a dozen bullets without a concern in gameplay but one shot to the head in a cutscene means your character is permanently dead, that is ludo-narrative dissonance as a quick and dirty example.

Violence as a mode of engagement is easy to implement. Heists are not. There's a reason why we get a lot more shooters than we do stealth games. However, this violence inherently demands targets to enact that violence upon and the easier, and to many more fun, the violence is, the more targets you need in order to keep the violence going. There's a reason why a good Western movie might have at most a handful of deaths while a good Western gang will have you murder the entire population of Texas. This was the EXACT problem that came up with Bioshock Infinite ran into with its utopia and that's part of why this term has become common in game criticism at this point.

Most games, as such, have to make a choice: Does your violence support the narrative or is it divorced from the narrative? The more you try and do both, the worse the dissonance will become. This is when a game tries to blame the player character for killing so many people when having given them no choice. It's false depth to make up for the fact that they didn't program death in.

In the game I believe you're talking about, I would err on the side that while this moment is dissonant, Cal isn't exactly given options to stealth past his enemies because it's a souls like. The game is mostly consistent in going "No, your rampage through the level is not meant to reflect on Cal as a person. Please, continue to force push Stormtroopers off of ledges because that's fun and it's what we programmed in."

However, much like the original blog's reason for existence, lots of people have been making lazy, bad faith 'hot takes' on games for this exact thing for a while now and if you hear that enough times, it will start sounding like a legitimate complaint. Which, technically it is because that dissonance is worse for your story but fixing it would also make it a worse game, and a worse story about someone who is just a murderous psychopath (Hatred is a bad, boring game for a reason), So... Yeah, I would rather that disconnect from gameplay and story if it means I can actually enjoy the game AND the story. I just have to be willing to meet the game on its terms for it.

Four paragraphs for ludo-narrative dissonance and engaging with the ask's example properly (at least if I got the game right)? Yeah, I'd call that short. See you next tale.

======+++++======

It's really funny to me that my original ending before I double checked the ask and pulled back on my final direction included in it discussing why my blogs tend to be so long... Before then the new ending being even longer. XD

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[midsummer-semantics]

Tagged by @hornedqueenofhell

this is exciting!

divider by @/saradika-graphics

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

37

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

552,698

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things primarily, but I have written for Harry Potter and Marvel

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

- Free-Use Healthcare - Forehead Kisses - Big Dick Energy™️ - cherry on my lips - Gold Rush

5. Do you respond to comments?

I didn't really respond much in the beginning but I try to respond every time now. Even if it's just a heart or "i loved this," I want everyone to know that I appreciate them taking the time to read AND leave a comment.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

holy palmers' kiss I suppose has the angstiest ending considering it exists in the canonverse. At the very end, Steve thinks "Maybe we can save each other," but we know from a fan perspective that Eddie dies because Steve isn't there to save him that Steve and Eddie live happily ever after.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is entirely personal opinion because I really only do HEAs lol It's either my big boy The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between because Steddie fight to live as normal a life as possible in the wake of s4 and end up getting engaged at the end, or it's Best friends, ex-friends ‘til the end (better off as lovers) because they bonded, like, a day into being reunited because they were soulmates.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Aside from one comment from someone being marginally racist about how Italians aren't darker skinned (Steve is Sicilian in one of my series and Sicilians are notoriously darker skinned), not really. But I recently heard that some people use priv bookmarks to make sure they avoid reading something again, and while I think that's counterproductive to the bookmark count, I don't really want to know if it's happened to me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! Almost exclusively, but I do have a few fics that are smut-free which I'm always surprised by. All Steddie, all gay, and it ranges from soft love-making to filthy, dirty, wet and messy sex.

10. Do you write crossovers?

The only crossover I've written was for Marvel, and that only counts on a technicality that it was a crossover between Eternals and Daredevil.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but I haven't actually scoured the internet to check. I hope if something was stolen, the people reading it still enjoyed it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think so? I had a HP fic translated into Russian but I never followed up on the website to see if it ever got posted.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

When I wrote the Marvel fic, yes. I was working on and Eternals Ikaris/OFC while my best friend wrote a Daredevil/OFC and my other friend wrote a Jessica Jones/OFC, and we had them all in the same room multiple times.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Steddie, hands down. Nothing has had be in a chokehold quite like this.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

So many, and I've lost interest at the moment in one I was actually posting, but I'm hoping to pick it back up after the Big Bang is finished. Probably with massive re-writes.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm funny, so I would like to say I have a lot of really solid lines in fics that make people laugh out loud. Also my world-building tends to be extensive (so much plot in my porn every damn time), but I don't want to classify that as a weakness so strength it is.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't tend to plan things out. I usually have a scene or two in mind and then I write around them and piece it together like Frankenstein's Monster. It's worked out for me so far, but I wish I planned things better sometimes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it a few times. For my Italian Steve/Mexican Eddie series I have both boys speaking second languages but not well lol I just make it part of the bit because, like Eddie in this, I also speak Spanish but not well. This is my official request that if you do speak another language that I've written in and it's wrong, feel free to let me know lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

My Chemical Romance. I was 13. We don't talk about it.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I'm really attached to The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between because it's a chonky boy (107k words) and it took me 9 months to write, but We'd rather be six feet under (than be lonely) is a very close second because I really got to play with Steve's inner monologue there and I think the approach I took to the fake dating trope was really original.

non-pressure tags: @tedewitt @malikat24601 @mojowitchcraft @lexirosewrites

[anarchy-and-piglins]

ftr your fics have fully dragged me from my dsmp nostalgia phase to "jfc why am i back here?" and all the adhd techno rep has made my LIFE, i adore him sm.

I'm going to gush a little about your fics, apologies, but since reading the foster care-hanahaki one (it's title escapes me) I've been telling pretty much everyone about the fact Techno thought it was a good idea to inhale pesticide on the regular, lmao. All your technoblade foster care fics are healing something in me and i thank you for it sm

Also, 'weapon of war'? bro- BRO (gender neutral ofc) ITS GOT ME IN A CHOKEHOLD!!! Has Techno been turned into a little bit of a god?? I'm soooo hooked!!! I love how he addresses himself as 'the blade' in his perspective, the dehumanisation is such a neat lil note!! Also, Squid has messed up declaring a war on potatoes heheh, the Great Potato War begins!! It's possessed me like mental, all your fics have!!

I spent last night doodling foster!techno from your 'three times +1' fic, where techno fought people to protect his fam and then they did it back and UGH I'm so insane about it haha, I've reread it too often

Sorry for such a long ask and its just gushing and stupid stuff but DUDE I'm in love with your fics, you got me picking up my old abandoned dsmp work again haha

YOO NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR FIC TALK, I love fic talk. Welcome back to hell (the dsmp fandom) too :kekw:

Foster fics have a special place in my heart <3 the hanahaki one was fun to write, Techno is a little idiot who can't understand people adore him.

Weapon of War is one of my most beloved projects too, I'm so happy you're enjoying it :D Sorry I don't have better responses, just know your ask made me go all -flappy hands of happy stimming-

[holdingonforheaven]

🍓🍎🍒🍇

I got greedy 😁 Fruit salad please?

One fruit salad coming right up!!! 🥰🥰🥰

🍓 What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated? 

Honestly, Blinded, which I wrote for the Febuwhump semiconscious prompt. Maybe I didn't give it a good title (I have a hard time titling my works) or a flashy enough summary, but I think it's some of my best writing.

🍎 Is there anything you straight-up won’t write?

Any kind of incest, and I'm including clone shipping in that. I get that other people like it, but it's not for me!

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!) 

Oooh, this is a tough one! There are so many good pairings. I love writing CodyWan; they basically wrote all of Breathless themselves, and that was supposed to be a whump prompt not a first kiss, lol. I also love clones being siblings--I have four brothers, so I like playing with the different kinds of relationships siblings have with each other. I feel like you see a lot of that (and there's more coming) in Not Alone and Fallout. The Bad Batch fall into this category, too. Crosshair & Omega especially have me in a chokehold. They just have so much potential for sarcasm and sweetness and angst 🥺

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one? 

Hmmmmm. If I had a stronger psyche, I'd really sink my teeth into the Umbara arc. As it is, I can't even rewatch it, but there's soooooo much you could do with it, from just straight-up fix-it fics where nothing bad happens at all, to highly-focused whump fics where we explore it in depth from just one character's perspective. I really wish we got to see Anakin's reaction to the aftermath of that arc...like, he left his troopers in the hands of a dark jedi who abused them to hell and back, and you're telling me Mr. "I Killed The Women And Children, Too" didn't have anything to say about that?? I just feel like he'd have so much grief and betrayal and guilt that he'd need to process and he wouldn't do it very well because he's Anakin.

This was so fun!! Thank you for asking 🥰

[fvkedupgirl]

NINJAGO AU DUMP BC I SAID SO !!

NINJAGO BMC AU

jeremy: jay- doesn’t get the squip to end up w nya, but instead bc he’s sick of feeling like a loser and thinks it’s be good for both him and cole if he was “cooler” bc to him cole is the coolest guy he knows and he feels like he’s holding him back socially

michael: cole- end love interest, obv obv

christine: nya- kind of plays a similar role to chloe or brooke in the sense that jay only tries to date her bc the squip tells him it’ll make him seem cool, rather than genuine feelings; has a little gossip trio w/ morro and pixal

rich: kai- got a squip a year prior, pretty much same character/purpose as rich

jenna: morro- idk i just rlly love the idea of morro being the queen of gossip @ their school

jake: lloyd- bros the green ninja ofc he’s the most popular guy @ school in this au, but also not jock popular guy like jake, more like the popular guy who’s popular bc he’s attractive but ALSO he’s just the sweetest guy. ever. and rlly oblivious to the point where u want to hate him bc of the way the ppl who are nice to him/like him are but you can’t bc he’s so sweet

chloe: pixal- listen okay she’s just a gossip girl ik im pushing it w chloe and christine here but let me LIVE okay let me have my nya pixal + morro gossip trio

brooke: zane- zane is the innocent guy that is besties w the gossip trio bc he follows pixal like a puppy and she would protect him w her life

endgame ships: bruise, bg pixane + maybe samuraishipping

would also include focuses on the dynamics between: kai + lloyd, rgb siblings, nya pixal + morro, kai + jay, + probably more if i fleshed out the whole plot a little more

thinking abt unagami squip?? or maybe some version of superstar rockin’ jay???? probably the latter tbh

SKYBOUND AU(S) BUT MAKE EM ALL BRUISE !! (rhyme time bbg)

so like on the one hand we have the obvious: replace nya w cole. which. i want to do obv bc it’s perfect and i have been planning out the details of the scene where he dies in jays arms and they turn back time and then we finally get our bruise kiss since FOREVER so im not letting my baby go even if other ppl have already written the concept b4.

ON THE OTHER HAND we have, instead of doing the same plot just switching around the roles of some of the characters, REWRITING THE WHOLE PLOT BC HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUTTTTT OKAY everyones always like “nyas the bride” “coles the bride” but what if WHAT IF WHAT IFFFFF *JAYS* THE BRIDE???? HEAR ME OUT HERE ME OUT HEAR ME OUT OKAY IVE BEEN THINKING ABT THIS IT CAME TO ME IN THE SHOWER AND I WAS LIKE. THIS. I COULD WORK WITH THIS. BC I WAS THINKING ABT LIKE SOME YUMMY COLE-PERSPECTIVE BRUISE ANGST OF S6 W THE SONG “ITS OVER, ISNT IT” THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS LIKE “HM WHAT IF I WRITE A WHOLE FIC ABT THIS” BC I CANT JUST THINK OF ONE-SIDED BRUISE BC I HATE THE ONE SIDED SHIP TROPE *BUT* ONE SIDED BUT ITS ACTUALLY NOT THEY JUST THINK ITS ONE SIDED BC THEYRE IDIOTS IS A TROPE THAT HAS SUCH A CHOKEHOLD ON ME AND NOW HERE I AM!!!!

any ways uh if i did this im kinda thinking like. nadakhans all “i wanna marry nya” and jays like “dude wtf u can’t just. marry nya ill fite u /p coles my real bbg ofc” and nadakhan says “shit u rite. too much work. plus i got me a captive rite here like it don’t matter who i marry cuz once i got my powers i can bring back that shitty girlypop of mine n e ways. damn bluey ur so smart” and jays like “wha.” so our guy writes a fun explanation of the whole marriage thing to the rest of the squad and he’s like “YOO so im bouta get married but that would not be great for me or anyone else in the whole world so maybe we should do something abt that like just so y’all know” and coles like “bitch not my MANS” and we’ll see where it goes from there bc the timeline would be V different and things would have to get done faster meaning they’d get done differently and id have to actually rewatch the season to figure out the kinks but as i continue to write this the urge to make this a reality grows every more tempting i am foaming at the mouth rn

dumped all of this into my notes and decided to share to gauge ppls interests (pls excuse any rambling my notes are full of so much rambling it’s not even funny)

[light-lanterne]

hello !! so, a lovely anon has sent me the most wondrous ask analysing (from a byler perspective) the lyrics from an album that came out on friday night, the likes of which is by my current favourite band (and hyperfixation). unfortunately, my reply was getting ridiculously long, so i shall screenshot the different parts of this ask and add them to this post instead ~

needless to say, i'll also be connecting these beautiful lyrics to byler :O many an au idea has spawned from me listening to this album a few times over, so there's that too. if you're a byler who've never even heard of this band, i highly suggest you check them out; some of their songs are very heavy, others are not and may even be considered pop. regardless of the music, all the lyrics are wonderful and they're definitely worth a listen.

anyway, let us begin !!

— sleep token —

take me back to eden

okei, so for the "simple" question: i don't know which is my favourite new release, they're all just so good :( maybe 'ascensionism', for it's the one that's been stuck in my head all day x.x but really, they're all perfection and if these guys don't get a grammy or five i'll be very mad >:(

anyway, you said you were joking but i'm actually buzzing with excitement at the prospect of analysing the whole thing so here we go ~

first, the singles (i'll be as brief as possible):

i. chokehold: ah,,, the perfect start of the album. i think the song is mostly about vessel's devotion to sleep, but these lyrics really feel like s1 mike to me :O - - - - - - - - - - - beneath the stormy seas, above the mountain peaks, it's all the same to me, it makes no difference. i've seen my days unfold, done the impossible. i'll turn my walls to gold to bring you home again. - - - - - - - - - - - yeah,,, just the disposition to do anything and defeat all obstacles in order to literally "bring [this person] home again" really reminded me of mike :]

ii. the summoning: such an exquisite single,,, really the best song to pull people in~ needless to say, the bridge brings a really neat dynamic that would work really well in an aged-up fic, i think. - - - - - - - - - - - oh, and my love. did i mistake you for a sign from god? or are you really here to cast me off? or maybe just to turn me on? 'cause these days i would be lying if i told you that i didn't wish that i could be your man, or maybe make a good [boy] bad. - - - - - - - - - - - maybe the classic good student will/rebellious mike? something like that :D

iii. granite: this was my favourite single !! it's dark and moody and it paints a sad but somewhat beautiful picture :O from the lyrics this is about a dysfunctional relationship and codependency, so it doesn't quite fit canon byler :S an au, however,,, - - - - - - - - - - - i was more than just a body in your passenger seat, and you were more than just somebody i was destined to meet, i see you go half-blind when you're looking at me. but i am. between the second-hand smoke and the glass on the street, you gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave, you say you want me, but you know i'm not what you need. but i am. - - - - - - - - - - - ,,,yeah. messy queer relationships can be fun to write and read and this one paints a very interesting scenario ~ when i first heard it, i immediately associated it with my serial killer au :D

iv. aqua regia: this one is such a vibe ~ i originally didn't care much for it, tbh, and it took me a while to get the metaphors x.x but once i got it i really started liking the song a lot more ! - - - - - - - - - - - aqua regia, (< gold refiner; vessel describes himself as gold before) oxytocin running in the ether. (< the ether would be the internet,,,) silicon ballrooms, (< silicon is a main component of electronics, so instead of social gatherings happening in an actual ballroom, they happen on the phone) subatomic interactions if it's all good. - - - - - - - - - - - so yeah, my understanding is that the main character in this song is someone who resists technology, but stops trying to fight it once they meet someone they feel something for online which is quite lovely ~ also, these lines are so cute: - - - - - - - - - - - oh, when i am done dancing to alarm bells no wonder my ears are still ringing. - - - - - - - - - - - (just imagine vessel bouncing around all excited about getting a message from this person :D ) anyway, um, modern byler au where mike is an anti-technology nerd who finally gets himself a phone just so that maybe he can talk to this really cute, semi-instagram-popular guy he likes from one of his lectures ^-^

v. vore: um,,, yeah,,, as someone who leans towards heavier music i love this song so so much !! the themes of obsession are amazing and really build on the concepts brought up in "this place will become your tomb", so that's a nice callback :O needless to say, there's not much bylering going on here but the vibe really goes well with aforementioned serial killer au, so there's that x.x

ix. dywtylm: aha, last single ! i must admit, i also didn't care for it a lot when i first heard it but, within the context of the album, it's a great break between "the apparition" and the final part of the record ~ so, i think i'd mentioned this before (?) but i can't remember,,, anyway, the lyrics scream mike at me ~ - - - - - - - - - - - and my reflection just won't smile back at me like i know it should. and i would turn into a stranger in an instant if i could. and there is something eating me alive, i don’t know what it is. maybe not that you conceal your feelings, they just don't exist. - - - - - - - - - - - also these: - - - - - - - - - - - and i've tried so hard to fix it all but nothing seems to help, but i cannot hope to give you what i cannot give myself. - - - - - - - - - - - yeah, canon mike's insecurities, guilt and confusion really reflect on those lyrics :( if i were to write something around this, it'd probably be a post m*leven break-up thing where mike is unsure if he has a chance with will, so they’re both just dancing around each other,,,

anyway, there's the singles !! now onto the new songs :D

vi. ascensionism: my absolute favourite song of the album ;-; there's something about fun genre-merging that really tickles my brain ~ i can't say i get the lyrics as much as the other songs, but from what i get it's about a relationship that's gone awry and both parts know they need to break up, but neither one wants to do it :( (there's also some stuff about a pseudo-religion called "ascensionism" and from what i get, it would imply that our main character believes they deserve this because of something they did in a previous life, so by accepting this, they will be able to ascend,,, or something like that x.x again, i don't quite get it just yet.) anyway, as much as i like this song i can't really connect it to byler ;-; maybe an exes fic, where they reflect on their fallout ? i don't do well with those, unfortunately x.x

vii. are you really okay?: this song is so pretty and sad :( i actually quite liked it !! it doesn't sound like anything from the soundtrack, i don't think, but it reminded me of my favourite film ever ("the crow") ~ the 90s vibes are delightful and it really gave me a feel of nostalgia that only added on to the emotion ;-; now, out of all the lyrics i'd say these are the most straightforward so i don't think i need to say what this is about :( and it's not quite the same, but i heard this part and had an idea for a short fic: - - - - - - - - - - - and i, i cannot fix your wounds this time. but i, i don't believe you when you tell me you are fine. please don't hurt yourself again. - - - - - - - - - - - picture this: during the confrontation about the painting, mike finds out about everything will has sacrificed to help him be happy so he tries to comfort him.

viii. the apparition: ah, this song feels so short :( it's very pretty though, all about vessel's troubled relationship with sleep ~ indeed, those lyrics you mentioned do feel very byler coded :O maybe their feelings between s3 and s4, when both of them were mourning their perceived lost connection (which they could've solved with a single phone call, but alas,,,) ? something like that ~ as for the dream stuff, i can definitely see will yelling this at vecna, once he's fed-up with the nightmares and being messed with and all that: - - - - - - - - - - - just let me go or take me with you. - - - - - - - - - - - granted, vessel's relationship with sleep is more of devotion than hatred (as reflected by the rest of the lyrics), but that particularly line gave me that visual :O i propose an alternative to the vecna interpretation, though: - - - - - - - - - - - why are you never real? whenever you appear you leave me with that grace, i am trembling with fear. but i know that you will disappear, just as i awake. whisper in my ear. - - - - - - - - - - - imagine that will's been taken by vecna (slipped into a coma or something of such nature) and he communicates with mike through his dreams :] that could be interesting, i think ~

x. rain: woo, byler-coded song !! those verses you wrote definitely feel like them, maybe once they get their stuff together and they accept that they can achieve happiness with each other ;-; i also love the references to other songs ~ part of the chorus feels a lot like "atlantic", there was a callback to "aqua regia" (something about 'saturate'), the 'game' part of the lyrics might be tied to "blood sport",,, i really like it !! the music is amazing and i can proudly inform you that listening to this as it rains around you is a wonderful experience ~ i have nothing more to add to your analysis n_n so, for a fic, i'd write about the direct moment after they defeat vecna and everything is done, with them running into each other's arms and just being happy to have each other, fully, at last.

xi. take me back to eden: the title track,,, an absolute masterpiece ;-; it's got everything musically, the most amazing breakdown, and it really is the perfect song to explain who they are :( and vessel's lyrics,,, "i dream in phosphorescence",,, who thinks of that ? x.x he's by far one of the best lyricists i know >.< the references to previous releases are so cool, too: - the ocean references are a call back to "tpwbyt" - the second verse alludes to "nazareth" (my favourite song) - the biting stuff is from "the offering" - shakespeare's "the merchant of venice" gets quoted - and of course, the first verse from "chokehold" is repeated to round the whole thing up :O ah, amazing,,, anyway, about the lyrics you shared,,,, yes. to all that ~ perfect interpretation <3 the chorus itself can be very byler, too: - - - - - - - - - - - my, my, those eyes like fire, i'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre. come now, bite through these wires, i'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired. reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher, grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire. - - - - - - - - - - - from mike's pov, he knows he's attracted to will and he perceives that acting on those feelings is dangerous (he's a moth to a flame), but at some point he's tired of being miserable and wants to confront this. it also works from will's pov, with him having already (unknowingly) been hurt by mike and he's tired of hurting, but he can't seem to back away. ,,,i think it works, but you tell me ~ overall, the song really reflects a longing for an innocence lost and we all know mike, will and the entire party can resonate with that :(

xii. euclid: the perfect outro to the album (and the trilogy) !! such a gorgeous piece with one too many musical and lyrical references to other songs to list x.x with the way it ties back to "the night does not belong to god" (first song in sundowning), it really feels like closing a chapter and i can't pretend it didn't make me cry ;-; (i wonder if the song is called euclid because he was the father of geometry, and this song turns the trilogy into a circle,,,) anyway, i haven't got much more to say than what you've already mentioned,,, these lyrics have been gorgeous since the original song,,, - - - - - - - - - - - the whites of your eyes turn black in the lowlight. in turning divine we tangle endlessly, like lovers entwined. - - - - - - - - - - - and these ones (which you already mentioned but i want to repeat because they gave me chills with how pretty they are) really encapsulate byler, i think - - - - - - - - - - - do you remember me when the rain gathers? and do you still believe that nothing else matters? for me it's still the autumn leaves, these ancient canopies that we used to lay beneath. - - - - - - - - - - - yeah,,, i've got nothing more to say,,,

anyway,,, thank you for this wonderful ask and for letting me ramble about this beautiful band and these beautiful lyrics and connect it all to the other thing i love !! sorry it took me days to get through this, i needed some time to digest the whole album ;-; hope you liked my insight (?) and the fic ideas and stuff i mentioned !!

for now, i think it's about time i wrap this ridiculously long post up x.x to whoever is reading this, i really hope you're having the best day or night ever, and that you enjoyed reading my nonsense ~ i'll see about writing some of the fics i mentioned in this post, but it will (obviously) take me a bit x.x

farewell for now !! <3

[creatively-cosmic]

Hi there!

Just wanted to say that I really like your artwork and am a fan of the Missing Numbers stuff. The way the characters are made/portrayed has me in a chokehold ngl. (Fire and Blue are probably my favorite characters, they look really cool-)

But I was curious/had a question about Fire. The scar he has on his chest, the one surrounded by the rings of Arceus: How did he get it? And because it’s been said that Fire is too important to die: does Arceus heal all of Fire’s wounds or just the fatal ones?

That is all though! Have a good morning/afternoon/evening wherever you are!

first of all THANK YOU SO MUCH??? im so glad you like this insane little story of ours!!! hearing ppl really do care about it only motivates us more to work on it!!

As for your questions, these are very fun ones. You're asking all the right things.

(This got long.)

First: The Scar.

The scar over his heart is a very spiritual one. The rings are a part of it, in fact, not just markings.

Fire was made to be the perfect replacement. A flawless player avatar who was only that, and nothing more. A body to be inhabited, controled, and a face to be remembered and idolized. When a player controls this avatar, especially in Pokemon, it doesn't have any free will of its own. Isn't supposed to. Not allowed to think or feel. Just a window into the world through which you experience it.

Extra care was put into making him fit this, as perhaps the most important "avatar" in the Almighty's eyes, and especially after the critical failure that was Glitchy, who's emotions and freedom led him to not only his demise, but mass corruption of the old world that required a total overwrite.

... When a human is made, it is only natural that they've a heart and soul to them. Free will is something that defines humanity. For this man, however, that was not an option.

To get to the point: The scar is where a hand of the Almighty cut his heart from his chest. His mind was also taken from him- did you notice the Golden scar on his neck?

It wasn't always like this. He was made meek on purpose. Quiet. Complacent. Cold. But it was soon proven by another boy's meddling that not a single risk could be taken, leading to his first death at the hands of frostbite. And the subsequent, forced removal of his free will.

So, he was left after with no heart to feel, and no head to think with. ...That was the plan, at least. But time has a funny way of healing all wounds. Reds have always had a funny way of surpassing expectations, for better or for worse.

Second: The Deaths.

Death is a recurring thing in Missing Numbers- the answer to how Fire survives answers how everyone survives, honestly. It all comes down to the fact that the world of Pokemon is a game. And what do you do, when something goes wrong in a game? When you lose? When you die? And, what does the game do when it breaks? How does it handle that? When it's overwhelmed by impossible demands?

Reset. Restart. Try again.

Of course, you, the player, will remember what happened outside of the resets. That's how you learn, and do better, to avoid losing again. You have a different, higher perspective.

The characters within aren't supposed to remember, though. You can rewind, step back, redo things as much as you need- they'll always be the exact same. Unknowing, unaffected. So when Fire dies? When Blue dies? Those two particularly are in a vicious cycle, where things are always put right back to before they went wrong, but...

A big part of the horror aspect of Missing Numbers is breaking this world enough, that the beings inside of the game see past the veil.

The main four we post about within this story have all already had their perspectives shattered to see beyond that. So even if they can't comprehend it or understand why this happens, they remember it. The more it happens, the more powerless you feel. The more desperate you get for your actions to hold meaning. The more drastic the measures you take will become.

Trying over and over and over and over

and over and over and over and over

and over and over and over and over

and over and over and over and over

and over again.

[bardic-inspo]

Summer Reading/Writing/Art Tag Game

Tagged by @electricshoebox and @edaworks a while back, thank you!!

1: Describe one creative WIP project you're planning to work on over the summer.

I’ve started delving into Bring the Gasoline again. I’m very excited but also a little intimidated by the next upcoming plot beats, so I’m taking it slow and trying to be extra patient with myself. (Much easier said than done.)

2: Rec a book.

I sadly don’t read nearly as much as I used to anymore, but I did recently start “This is How you Lose the Time War” by Amal Al-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (the same one recommended by Bigolas Dickolas on Twitter). So far we got a Red Gay and a Blue Gay enemies-to-lovers via letters situation that I’m really enjoying. 

3: Rec a fic.

Also haven’t been reading much fic as of late, but I recently treated myself to Between Sunset and Sunrise, a soft and sexy Arthur Morgan x Charles Smith one-shot by the lovely @electricshoebox that I would highly recommend if you’re wanting to finally see that rootin’ tootin’ cowboy get taken care of for once. Riss is absolutely amazing when it comes to character voice, which I can attest to, having found her writing through Fallout and then branching out into reading some of the stories she’s written for other fandoms. She slips into a new POV like a glove, and it always gives me this warm and fuzzy homecoming sort of feeling to be placed back in a favorite character’s perspective like that. I am also a massive fan of her Deacon x MacCready series, A Line in the Sand. ALITS stole my heart from the first word and has had it in a chokehold ever since. Riss absolutely slays Deacon’s POV and good god every little interaction with these two is so loaded with feelings I could combust just thinking about it. One of my favorite stories of all time, hands down. Reading this one counts as self-love because it is an absolute gift. I will never not be at least a little bit thinking about “They weren’t built for this. They rebuilt themselves for this.” SWOON. 

4: Rec Music

This entire album is golden imo, but this one is my favorite. I'm going to get to see them live (again) in a few weeks!

5: Share One Piece Of Advice

I'll be corny and share a quote from Hamilton: "I am the one thing in life I can control." It's a hard thing to remember, but it's been a sort of compass for me since I heard it the first time, and it's often the thing I find myself needing to come back to when I'm struggling.

(And, of course, you gotta at least internally belt the "I am inimitable, I am an original" lines that come after. Those are very important, too. <3 )

Tagging @atombonniebaby, @persephotea, @some27-url, @valkyriejack, and @mercurymiscellany if you'd like to! No worries if not.